miserable...

urgh....

dunno where 2 start, ok, how bout my results r commin sooner than any1 can say 'EXAM RESULT!', i still havent get the 6th SP book. my mom thearten 2 marry me to someone if i get bad results, and since an incident occured in one of my past years, i'm mostly takin her words as promises and i'm scared 2 death until if that really happens, i would run away from home. i'm listenin 2 sad song that i find kindda discribin me in some of the words in it. my phone fell in a toilet last saturday and just sank i presume, even if it didnt, i wouldnt hv the guts 2 take it back. in my view, my parents r accusing me more and more as days past by,my good deeds arent appreciated consider they're small ones. and, i'm afraid of dissapointin everyone 4 gettin bad results.oh, god i'm so scared. i ask myself all the time whether is it right 2 b 2 nice in this world. y cant i grow up 2 b selfish or cold blooded even 4 just a moment(not when i didnt realise that i'm doin it). trust me when i say i am 2 nice. even my mom told me that this isnt such a nice world,and that there r bad people, but i try 2 thinkthat people can change.


in conclusion, again, i'm scared. and 2 make things worst, i cant cry cause i'm at the siber cafe. and the song that i'm listenin is really tryin 2 make me cry.

i hv a perfect life and family. i'm happy all the time in the mornin, i hv parents and brothers and sisters. i hv enough food. i sleep comfortably in a nice bed. i hv plenty of syuff that i like...

then y do i feel like cryin most of the at night, or when things get quiet. when my friends r not around, when my parents r at work. i dont really hv any1 2 talked 2, even if i do, i just dont want 2 with the excuse that they wont understand or i dont wanna burden them with such a small matter. i know u guys also feel that this is such a small problem 2, right? i dont blame ya, i ask myself that question most of the time.

most people will say that i'm lucky, but honestly, y do i...

oh god, i'm so emo! sorry guys, forget bout what i wrote!
this is so embarasin! i'm fine, really! i guess i was just tryin 2 take some of the stress out, hehehe!!! ok, so, guess i'll talk 2 u guys later. if i hv the chance, bye!