Friday, February 18, 2011

depressed

umm, ok... i'm in a lot of pressure right now...
umm, so, hi....
if u want 2 know, i am here(siber) without anyone's permission or notice...
oh and 2day's blog is gonna b a bit long

hmm...
i 'll try 2 remember the things i want 2 tell u guys ok?

ok, 1st, kallista, thnx 4 givin me mary hiashi's jokes, they were killers.

umm and thrice thnx 4 showin orius everythin, i owe u a lot.(actually ALL of u)

dragona thnx 4 commentin. same goes 2 geco and lunar and octa.
huh...

u know....
i really wish i can cmment with u guys again...
who know's mayb u guys can help me with my homework.heh...
cause i always do my homework at night. there's 1 time i didnt sleep the whole night at all tryin 2 fininsh my homework. usually i'm left with a few hours 2 sleep but, not that night. u know, i kindda wasnt focus in doin it cause i was so sleepy and also cause, i was thnkin what are u guys talkin bout right now and how much i'd b ok if i was talkin 2 u guys...

huh...
ARGH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I HATE EVERY1!!!!!
I HATE MY DAD!!!!!
I HATE MY MOM!
I HATE MY BROTHERS!!!!
AND THE PERSON I HATE MOST IS ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


I DESERVE 2 GO 2 HELL!!!!!!
IT'S ALL MY FAULT!!!!!

thnk godness i'm in the ciber, or else i would...
sometimes i feel like i should b like a robot...
keep my feelins all 2 myself....
doin actly as told just like a dog...

god i'm so lonely and pethetic...

hmm...

hope SP 6 will come soon...
oh wait... i cant buy it, cause it's a month away from my big exam...


but then again, mayb iwill fail this test...
mayb i was just luck that i got flyin colours last time...
y should i even bother bout this year's big test...
no 1 believe i can do it anyway...


OH, sory guys!
i guess i was so caught up by....

ok well, this is actualy 4 my blog!
i hv a lot more complains than this so dont worry bout me ok guys lol!!!!
although i knw u guys wouldnt care.hehehe!
i dont hv much time.
dont hv enough money, ok, bye guys!
i'll try 2 write somethin more fun next time ok?!

6 comments:

  1. *hugs Knight*
    I'm glad you shared all this Knight. Even as tough as it was.
    I have been depressed before. Seriously so. It's not easy to deal with. But remember as you work through your situations, those feelings will not remain. These situations are only temporary. Even if they seem to be otherwise.
    Please don't blame yourself for things. Sometimes we need to be responsible. But I don't ever think a single person is responsible for any event or circumstance. A number of things and people are involved whether on purpose or not. Whether seen or not seen.
    Please do not hate yourself. You ae such a wonderful unique person.
    I know you will find a way to get book 6. I also hope you get more sleep. Seems wrong that you have so much homework that you loose your sleep over it.
    Have to go for now Knight. But I will remind you again, that we wish we could chat with you to. Those where some great times and I KNOW THEY WIL HAPPEN AGAIN! :D
    In the meantime....do us all a favor and take care of yourself! We love you Knight!
    Thanks for posting!
    *hugs*

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  2. Knight, please don't feel bad. I understand you're under a lot of pressure, and I don't blame you for being depressed. I hope everything's alright where you are. Good luck on the test. I hope you get to talk to us soon.

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  3. Hope that you can chat to us again. We miss you all so much. You'll do brilliantly on the test and I know somehow you will read book 6. Take care and thanks for sharing this with us. We all support you. Don't hate yourself. You are a wonderful person.

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  4. I BELIEVE YOU CAN PASS KNIGHT! And I'm sure others do, too. Believe in yourself, and others will believe too. I would say, "have faith," but your past results seem to show that you just need to believe!

    And please don't hate yourself, or your family. I'm sure they're only doing what they think is right, even though you may find that hard to believe. And their decisions can be hard to accept. Hold on in there.

    Sometimes I find listening to music helps me. Especially "Keep Holding On" by Avril Lavigne.

    And don't keep everything inside. You'll burst, like a balloon.

    We're listening Knight. So keep talking :)

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  5. Hello Knight. Thinking of you. Hope you are doing great! XD
    On the blog we have had our good times and bad times too.
    Recently Octa wrote a poem for a fellow friend. It was in response to some things she had shared on her blog. And while the poem speaks to her specificly, I thought of youtoo. Octa agreed that you should read teh poem. WE both hope that you will be encouraged by it and take heart. So I will put it in the next comment section so I don't freak out the system with to long a commnt. :P

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  6. I used to have ambitions
    I had hopes and goals and dreams
    But my dreams remain unfinished
    And my hopes are just extremes.


    My wishes are impossible
    I long for childish things
    And for people to respect me
    And to fly with golden wings.


    For life it seems so drab and grey
    You work then breathe your last
    For the future came to nothing
    But a wistful broken past.


    I used to think I’m special
    In a way that I could be
    More important than diamonds
    More powerful than the sea


    But the nightmares overcame me
    With my fears and tears and screams
    Crushing all of my ambitions
    Whilst reality quells my dreams


    And I wonder why my family
    Ignores my own belief
    Why don’t they accept me... well as me?
    Why cause me pain and grief.


    My soul is shattered
    My minds breaks
    My body yearns
    My heart aches


    For you’ve asked the greatest question
    Which is simply labelled Why?
    What’s the point at all in living
    When eventually you die.


    For humanity is temporary
    And all things end with time
    And this knowledge is our burden
    We perceive it as a crime


    Does the universe have meaning?
    Only if you give it one
    If nobody appreciates it
    Why has it begun?


    Nature’s only beautiful
    When viewed by human eyes
    Unobserved it comes to nothing
    As do clouds in endless skies


    For life has deeper meaning
    We can learn and we can love
    We can try to create order
    From the chaos far above


    Why we live I do not know
    But there is fun and laughter
    And I don’t think that it matters
    To the happily ever after


    Life is meant for living
    So enjoy its little treasures
    Such as humour and surprises
    And manifold other pleasures


    Such as poetry and literature
    And your own imagination
    The sunshine and the crystal rain
    A starry constellation


    So treasure every moment
    For life keeps moving on
    And the Earth will keep on spinning
    Long, long after you are gone


    You dream a dream of impossible things
    But at least you dream at all
    And hope still burns inside you
    Though the candle may be small


    You are special, you have purpose
    And I wish you “Blessed be”
    You are loved and you’re befriended
    You’re Miss Mary Hiashi



    Poem Written by Octaboona and used here with permission.
    Know that you are Loved too Knight.
    *hugs Knight*
    :D

    ReplyDelete