new year

i'm in a noisy siber full with boys...

couldnt find my pendrive in this computer, couldnt really hear my music, and it's dark.

this is just plain wrong...

butit's been a while since iwent 2 the siber, and printin here is really cheap.

i've recently liked one piece again and the reason y i put the word 'again' is because when i was a kid, i liked it, but then i stopped watching and so started 2 not like it, but then istarted watching it again, and i like it. wow, that was twisted....

i got my results, i got 4A, 3B and a C. 4 me, it's a big improvement. i usually got...err.., lesser A...

hehehe. everybody said that my problem was just bein lazy, that's all. and i believe them.

i just ask the man in charge of the siber i'm at, and he said, i couldnt open my pendrive in this computer... man, this sucks... how am i suposed 2 print somethin if i cant choose what it is that i wanna print?!!!!

oh well. oh my family said, the result was good enough 4 them. i am so relief...

so, 2 summin everythin up, i'm doin, kindda well(?!). i hvnt gotten the 6th SP book yet, but,i already told my mom and she said she will buy it 4 me .

u know what, 2 or 3 days ago, if i'm not mistaken, i was eatin fruit with me mom, and while we're talkin, she suddenly ask me whether i hv a counselor in my school, and when i say yes, i do, she told me that if i hv a prob, i should go and seek him or her. i said that's fine, i'm ok. but then she raised her voice a bit and said that i should go and talk 2 him or her. she told me that she wasnt there 4 me 2 talk 2, so it's better if i talk 2 the counselor.

umm, i'll continue later. oh and how was every1's xmas? is it cold where u guys r from? is it still snowin? tell me, tell me, tell me!!!!!

i'll b waitin 2 hear ur stories!!!

ok, c u soon!

the sufferin continues....

hi, hope u guys r doin much better that i am.

i read comments 4 the last post. thnx 4 understandin. umm, i dunno. i really dont wanna complain 2 u guys. or any1, i think. oh and kallista, dont worry, it's already a habit 4 me that everytime i wanna cry, i would just walk 2 my room and lock the door, and then cry. sometimes if i'm angry and upset at the same time, i would switch on the radio loudly, then i would scream quietly.

hey, i can hide my post from u guys right? i dont wanna complain bcause it's annoyin, i think it's a small matter, i'll b burdenin people with it. i'd feel embarassed later when i flash back bout it and other reasons. can some1 tell me how? sory if i didnt know how.

and now i notice that i'm startin 2 like bein alone. and since it's been a while since i went 2 school, when i went there last thursday, i find it hard 2 pretend that i'm all jolly well happy again like i always do. and when i did smile, i dont like it at all and feel like my smile wasnt workin like it used 2. weird...

hm, guess that's it, bye!

ps: sory if i sounded like i dont care the welfare of u guys, bcause i do

miserable...

urgh....

dunno where 2 start, ok, how bout my results r commin sooner than any1 can say 'EXAM RESULT!', i still havent get the 6th SP book. my mom thearten 2 marry me to someone if i get bad results, and since an incident occured in one of my past years, i'm mostly takin her words as promises and i'm scared 2 death until if that really happens, i would run away from home. i'm listenin 2 sad song that i find kindda discribin me in some of the words in it. my phone fell in a toilet last saturday and just sank i presume, even if it didnt, i wouldnt hv the guts 2 take it back. in my view, my parents r accusing me more and more as days past by,my good deeds arent appreciated consider they're small ones. and, i'm afraid of dissapointin everyone 4 gettin bad results.oh, god i'm so scared. i ask myself all the time whether is it right 2 b 2 nice in this world. y cant i grow up 2 b selfish or cold blooded even 4 just a moment(not when i didnt realise that i'm doin it). trust me when i say i am 2 nice. even my mom told me that this isnt such a nice world,and that there r bad people, but i try 2 thinkthat people can change.


in conclusion, again, i'm scared. and 2 make things worst, i cant cry cause i'm at the siber cafe. and the song that i'm listenin is really tryin 2 make me cry.

i hv a perfect life and family. i'm happy all the time in the mornin, i hv parents and brothers and sisters. i hv enough food. i sleep comfortably in a nice bed. i hv plenty of syuff that i like...

then y do i feel like cryin most of the at night, or when things get quiet. when my friends r not around, when my parents r at work. i dont really hv any1 2 talked 2, even if i do, i just dont want 2 with the excuse that they wont understand or i dont wanna burden them with such a small matter. i know u guys also feel that this is such a small problem 2, right? i dont blame ya, i ask myself that question most of the time.

most people will say that i'm lucky, but honestly, y do i...

oh god, i'm so emo! sorry guys, forget bout what i wrote!
this is so embarasin! i'm fine, really! i guess i was just tryin 2 take some of the stress out, hehehe!!! ok, so, guess i'll talk 2 u guys later. if i hv the chance, bye!