Monday, December 5, 2011

miserable...


urgh....

dunno where 2 start, ok, how bout my results r commin sooner than any1 can say 'EXAM RESULT!', i still havent get the 6th SP book. my mom thearten 2 marry me to someone if i get bad results, and since an incident occured in one of my past years, i'm mostly takin her words as promises and i'm scared 2 death until if that really happens, i would run away from home. i'm listenin 2 sad song that i find kindda discribin me in some of the words in it. my phone fell in a toilet last saturday and just sank i presume, even if it didnt, i wouldnt hv the guts 2 take it back. in my view, my parents r accusing me more and more as days past by,my good deeds arent appreciated consider they're small ones. and, i'm afraid of dissapointin everyone 4 gettin bad results.oh, god i'm so scared. i ask myself all the time whether is it right 2 b 2 nice in this world. y cant i grow up 2 b selfish or cold blooded even 4 just a moment(not when i didnt realise that i'm doin it). trust me when i say i am 2 nice. even my mom told me that this isnt such a nice world,and that there r bad people, but i try 2 thinkthat people can change.


in conclusion, again, i'm scared. and 2 make things worst, i cant cry cause i'm at the siber cafe. and the song that i'm listenin is really tryin 2 make me cry.

i hv a perfect life and family. i'm happy all the time in the mornin, i hv parents and brothers and sisters. i hv enough food. i sleep comfortably in a nice bed. i hv plenty of syuff that i like...

then y do i feel like cryin most of the at night, or when things get quiet. when my friends r not around, when my parents r at work. i dont really hv any1 2 talked 2, even if i do, i just dont want 2 with the excuse that they wont understand or i dont wanna burden them with such a small matter. i know u guys also feel that this is such a small problem 2, right? i dont blame ya, i ask myself that question most of the time.

most people will say that i'm lucky, but honestly, y do i...

oh god, i'm so emo! sorry guys, forget bout what i wrote!
this is so embarasin! i'm fine, really! i guess i was just tryin 2 take some of the stress out, hehehe!!! ok, so, guess i'll talk 2 u guys later. if i hv the chance, bye!

4 comments:

  1. oh, and i'm already hvin my long school holiday. that's an upside

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  2. *hugs Knight*
    If a person is sad I feel that have a right to feel that way and have the right to receive comfort from those they are close too. Too many times people try to tell themselves there is no reason to be sad. Bu t it does not matter if you have the perfect life or if your life is the worst. If a person is sad, there is a good reason for that. To explain it away is self defeating. To ignore it ant to rate it compared to other people
    s pain will do no good either and is not fair.
    Sure you can count on the good things you have, But you will still have that pain in your heart. It will come back. Best try to work it out in a f air way.
    This world IS very stressful. There ARE bad people in the world. But there are good ones too.
    There will also be times where it is not as stressful and when you are surrounded by good and caring people.
    It sounds as if you have every reason to be afraid Knight. It's kind of shocking that you would be forced to marry against your will. I would hope that if that were the case that you could find an advocate to help you.
    All I can say is do your best with what you learn in school and if you get bad test results, it does not mean that you are bad or not smart. Testing is just one way to judge a person's academic level. Many smart people have failed tests and exams.
    I am sorry your parents are giving you a hard time. *hugs* I'm glad you shared that with us. Several of us on the blogs and chats have to deal with difficult parents. Including me. I guess life gets so hard for them and they focus all on the negative instead of seeing the good times too. It seems children are an easy target for them.
    I believe that sharing tough times and good times with trusted people who love you is a good and healthy thing to do. No apologies needed.
    It's really good to hear from you Knight. So many wonderful new people have come onto the blogs. Some of us have moved to a chat room. But we never forget Derek Landy of course. We eagerly wait for his next book.
    Some of the old SP blog members don't come on as often as they used too. As we get older we seem to have more testing and homework to do in addition to our extra activities. But we all still keep in touch and do what we can.
    Thanks so much for this update Knight.
    Just one more thing before I go. Do you write at all? I can't remember. (I forget things a lot) :P
    A few months ago I started my 1st attempts at writing poetry. They are all simple and basic but I find that it really helped to write my feelings and stressed into poetry or into writing. Sometimes even a drawing. Then sharing it with someone really helps too.
    Don't forget Knight, even though we may not see each other hardly ever any more, our thoughts and hugs and support are always with you.
    As for me, I also add my prayers. I have always prayed for you and our other friends.
    Take it easy and enjoy life as best as you can Knight. It is a hope of mine that you may smile again. Don't forget too though, tears are good too. Just make sure you are alone in your room and have a good cry to release those negative feelings. A cool wash cloth to the face afterwards and a rest are good things to do following.
    *hugs*

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  3. Oh Knight. Kallista said pretty much all I wanted to say perfectly.

    So I'm going to give you this hug instead and put everything I want to say in that hug.

    *hugs Knight*

    I hope you understand.

    *hugs again*

    It's great to hear from you again.

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